i have been reading other blogs like a maniac and just havent gotten the motivation to write in my own. i love commenting on all of the things others post about and have so many ideas for posts but when i go to write one, what i have in my head just doesnt come out on the screen. this could be because i am new to the blogging scene and dont do a whole lot of writing in general. in real life i love reading and not writing so i guess as as far as blogging goes it turns out the same. but im trying. so bear with me as i delve a little deeper into this new found (for me) method of self expression.
my boyfriend javier follows a lot of the gringa blogs although im not exactly sure why. he likes to read what all of us think about his country and how different life is for us and what he finds are very strange opinions about nearly everything. he finds that we are all pretty negative when it comes to chile and after a pretty long conversation with him (that got a little heated at one point) i think we came to a few agreements.
1) when living wherever, the majority of the funny stories or the anecdotes that people want to share are negative but it doesnt mean you hate chile. something happened to you on the bus ride home, or someone shouted something out of a window at you or lo que sea and you just want to rush home and spew it onto your blog. this doesnt mean that you hate chile or cant wait to get out of here or think its a shitty country. everyone has bad days and experiences, but in the end YOU chose to live here for whatever reason and through the good and bad there must be something worth staying for. i know that significant others are a factor in this equation but i HOPE that it is not the only reason. i know it isnt for me.
2) the grass is always greener: as many people have blogged or commented or talked about all the things they cant stand about chile while living here, i have had just as many people that have visited or lived and left say “i am sooooo jealous that you are in chile now” or “i wish i could go back” or “dont you just love being able to see the ocean on the micro everyday?? i miss it so much!”. wherever you are, something from your past or something you are looking forward to just seems better, prettier, and more exciting. maybe in some ways one or the other is better, prettier or more exciting. it just seems to me that it is easier to think and imagine about where you are not and idolize that place. looking back on a phase of life i always remember it better than it actually was, and im good at blocking out the negative aspects. i think this definitely adds to making that place or time “greener” . so javier and i decided that this effect definitely adds to all of these crazy gringas venting about lines and food and transportation in chile.
3) personal experiences do not mean that you are making generalizations for everyone else: sometimes (ok a lot) javier has read a blog and then said, we’re not like that, or she’s exaggerating, or there is no way the majority or the time people have done that to her. and i explained that just like everything else, your perception on a country is almost 100% based on your own experiences. i have never (knock on wood) been assaulted, robbed, or put into a scary situation in chile. so when i am out walking around i have a different mentality than someone else who for whatever reason has been through those experiences here. be it luck or being in the right place at the right time (i dont think its being more careful, bc i dont think i am) or whatever, these situations have shaped how we react to chile. the same goes for these blogs. when something has happened to you personally, especially if it is a number of times, you write a blog about it and although it is a generalization it doesnt mean that it isnt true for you or that you are exaggerating. its just you talking about what you personally have experienced. you may find that others have the same experiences, you arent the only one and bam, a gringa perspective on chilean culture is born. what i think javier is starting to get is that we gringas think and react differently to situations than he would. or he cant understand what someone is blogging about because he wouldnt ever be put in that place.
i guess our conversation just made me realize that although we have shared over a year of our lives we still dont completely understand what it is like to be the other person. maybe this will change overtime, growing together. or maybe not. i guess time will tell…
p.s i am in no way saying that if we keep having conversations like this, or not completely understanding what it would be like to be a gringa in chile or a chilean in the US that our relationship will suffer. i love my chileno very much. in case you were wondering 
“javier has read a blog and then said, we’re not like that, or she’s exaggerating, or there is no way the majority or the time people have done that to her.” LOL, is he talking about me??? He can call my Chilean and confirm that yes, unfortunately I do have the WORST gringa luck in the entire world and I only wish I were exaggerating about a lot of the stuff I’ve written about.
“especially if it is a number of times, you write a blog about it and although it is a generalization it doesnt mean that it isnt true for you or that you are exaggerating. its just you talking about what you personally have experienced.”
I actually wrote something along those lines too, trying to explain to people who were arguing with me and saying, “You’re wrong.” And I was like, how can I be wrong, this is MY experience and what has happened to me…you don’t walk in my shoes.
For my husband and I, the only reason we are here is because of financial reasons. It made sense for us to live here because of jobs and visa stuff. But yeah, that’s pretty much it, we don’t have another reason for being here, which is why we’re planning on leaving when we can!
That doesn’t mean I hate Chile, FAR from it. But I definitely don’t want to live here anymore.’
mamacita,
first of all, javier wants me to tell the blogging world that he is not an “oscar” and that he loves and respects all of our opinions and that he understands as well.
anyways, i think i am responding to that post in a way, the one where you were like, how can i be wrong about my opinions and my experiences? it is easy for someone else to think that we only concentrate on the negative things that happen here or how you perceive the world/country? it is easy to judge when it isnt you or when you havent dealt with the things posted about. like lydia said in her response to my blog, she basically just writes about what happens in her life, not because she is trying to be negative but she is telling it like it is no mas. i dont know.
whatever, but good luck in your personal path and i wish you luck in what you both feel is right, because thats all that really matters
I agree with you a lot, that each person’s unique experience here in Chile colors what we see as the “true” Chile.
And I think that a lot of times the “negative” things about Chile make better stories than the positive ones. I try my hardest to write a balanced perspective on my blog, but it’s hard when I also want to be entertaining and not corny.
“i have never (knock on wood) been assaulted, robbed, or put into a scary situation in chile. so when i am out walking around i have a different mentality than someone else who for whatever reason has been through those experiences here.”
This passage struck a chord with me because before last saturday I was exactly like you. I had a completely different mentality when I was walking on the streets. That’s not to say I wasn’t careful, because I was SUPER careful. But now that I was assaulted, it’s completely different.
Anyway, great post! I really liked your observations and think they are spot on.
Haha, I love that Oscar has become code for “total asshole of a Chileno”! And I really agree with both points 1 and 3. It’s often the more frustrating experiences that I feel able to write about in a funnier/more interesting way. Another thing I’ve been thinking about a lot lately is that the fact of being new somewhere opens your eyes. It’s not that I’m against Chile, it’s just that because I’m not from here I’m looking at it more objectively, and I see things that I wish were different (as well as things that I think are good). I really hope that when I go back to the US I can try to keep the same mindset, even though of course I can’t be quite as objective because I have so much history there, because I think that having this perspective can be a good thing. Identifying things that you think should change – and then trying to help make that change happen, however slowly – is one way that you can make society a better place. Hoping for things to change doesn’t mean that they’re necessarily bad as they are, just that you think they could be even better!